Our Angel turns 5 - And gives us more than 5 reasons to introspect

As a couple, My infinitely better half, Sumitha Iyer and i have had the usual highs and lows which is fairly commonplace in any marriage. But a significant life changing event happened in early 2012 when our little Angel Anwesha entered our lives. This was anything but conventional. For one, she was adopted. For two, we brought her from Bhawanipatna, a place in the interiors of Odisha. It is the district headquarters of Kalahandi district, which over the last several decades (to quote wikipedia) has become symbol of backwardness in popular media and among politicians or social workers. If we didn't have the luxury of Google Maps or Wikipedia, it would have been impossible to locate this place on a map. Well, some would say that of Odisha as well. Which is kinda ironical as Wikipedia would tell you that it is the 9th largest state in India in terms of land and 11th in terms of population. And it has a huge significant historical significance since the days of Emperor Ashoka and in its earlier avatar as Kalinga.

The journey to Bhawanipatna in 2012 was a kind of a revelation in itself. For those of you who are still struggling to make sense of this place geographically, this place did not have rail connectivity till August 2012. The access to this place depended on getting to the nearest railway station at Kesinga and then driving down the 35 km highway (some would say I am kidding when i refer to this stretch as a highway) to Bhawanipatna. And strangely enough, the trains at Kesinga stop for just 2 minutes. It almost feels like even the Indian Railways doesn't want to stay longer than what is needed else it might get engulfed into the backwardness prevalent here. As for us, We did 3 trips in 2012 to Bhawanipatna

1. An impulsive decision by Sumi to see the child (the mom in her couldnt hold back) after she was identified and reserved for us for adoption. This involved flying down to Vizag and attempting to drive north to cover what was mentioned as approx 350 Kms by road. Sumi managed to cover this distance in over 11 hours unfazed by the absolute lack of civilization (and more importantly any form of signboard or directions) and reached Bhawanipatna. She was ably supported by two youngsters (my dad and her mom) in this journey. Anwesha met her prospective mom and won her over asap.
2. The actual trip to take Anwesha into foster care. We still had not realized the convenience of Kesinga and decided to fly down to Raipur and then drive south east over what was again told as a similar distance but better defined than the #1. For me it was an interesting contrast. Business class travel from Chicago to Chennai, an economy class fare from chennai to Raipur and then the interesting road trip through what used to erstwhile Naxalite infested areas. Even for somebody like me who had visited a few of these places in the past, (Bastar, Dantewada are close examples), the journey was anything but arduous. My dad kinda humored us by reminding us constantly as to how Anwesha (which means Search/Quest in Sanskrit) was how my daughter wanted us to find her this way and also launch us on our quest towards self realisation. While returning back, we became wiser and used the convenience of Kesinga to return to Vizag and then fly back to Chennai.
3. The final trip to complete the adoption process. This time, we were better prepared and decided to do the train route, the entire time. Much less arduous than before.

But the important thing that was life changing was not the fact that our angel was adopted or she was from an backward area or that the journey was arduous. It was our first exposure to a side of India that we really didnt realize existed. Yes, you read it in the press but then we are attuned to focussing on stuff that offers sensationalism like a Shobha De comment or a Donald Trump rant or at the minimum, a Rahul Gandhi POV.  Or for some of the more erudite ones, it is about reading a book or an article and coming to a conclusion that they know it all. In recent times, i have referred to some of them as the Facebook paper tigers. This journey taught us the importance of experiential wisdom. Amidst a sea of what traditional capitalists would call backwardness, there was so much humanity and love that one would find it hard to imagine. The orphanage (Nehru Seva Sangh) was a temple in itself. The people who were working here, having devoted their entire life to bring up neglected/ under-priveleged children were he deities. And the children themselves were such angels. And amidst that was our little baby. The amount of effort that the people at this organization put in to keep this as an honest, ethical and clean place needs to be seen to be believed. In a so called "developed" world, where corruption is beginning to be recognized as an acceptable practice, this oasis in an exceptionally backward world stands as a beacon of what humanity is all about. Every single penny is accounted, receipts issued and they dont accept anything more than what is prescribed by the law. 

Since Anwesha came into our lives, both of us internalized and started  doing a few things

1. When things are not going our way, we stopped asking the "Why Me?" question. 
2. Started feeling blessed and thankful for what we have had thus far, whether it is in terms of money, recognition or any other form of material comfort. 
3. Realized what real humility is all about. We had gotten used to feeling great about rather mediocre achievements (and that too despite us) when there are giants like Nehru Seva Sangh doing amazing things under rather dire circumstances without a whisper.
4. We wanted Anwesha to realize the culture/humanity of the place of her origin.  A close friend of mine even questioned the rationale and wanted us to know if we were over-doing this bit. Well my answer was that he had not experienced what Sumi and I underwent 

Today Anwesha turned 5. And we again undertook what was an arduous journey 4.5 years back. This time, it was myself, Sumi, Anwesha and my brother-in-law who is again a Ram :)

But this time around, no sweat. We flew to Raipur and then caught the train to Kesinga and did the 35km stretch to Bhawanipatna. Yes, things have improved a bit here on the development plank, thought not significantly. But somethings are like gravity, i reckon. They never change. And that is the humanity/love that this place is known for.

We had a surreal experience at Nehru Sevak Sangh. We spent a lovely evening with over 160 children who live in that orphanage and the selfless staff who help run it in the most ethical, honest and efficient manner possible in such places. We had arranged for some snacks (some pastries, ice cream and some savories) to celebrate Anwesha's bday there

1. We met Sthuthi, a talented 10 year old child who has extraordinary skills in music and who was playing the harmonium for us and signing beautiful songs. She has also cleared some exams in music. Well, she is just blind in both eyes
2. We met Sunitha, a beautiful 4 year old child with a lovely smile. Well she has syphillis.
3. We met Sumod, a charming 6 year old boy. He is deaf and this was the first time, he had tasted ice-cream.
4. We met Pratiksha who is about 6 years now but was facing a serious heart condition in 2012. She has recovered and is going to placed with parents in Italy very shortly
5. We reconnected with Bhoomi Sudha who is about 8 years now and completely blind in both eyes and also with a low brain development. I remember her holding my hands in 2012 when we went to pick up Anwesha.
6. Scores of other normal children who were very excited to talk to us and hear Anwesha/Sumi sing. It was melancholy at is best.
7. We reconnected with Sarojiniji who at 70, serves as the Secretary keeps performing her service without expecting any thing in return. In addition to their usual activities, they have also started a rehabilitation facility to help older children who have run away from their homes. For Sumi, she is a mother who didnt give birth to her. But in every other way, they are bonded. For me, she is a terrific role model and who keeps reminding of how selfish and myopic that some of us have become in the modern dog-eat-dog world in our quest for corporate glory.
8. The government has reclaimed some of the land of the orphanage as they are expanding the road. Sarojiniji mentioned that this is neccessary for the "Greater good". I was just astounded as in the cities today, we keep fighting for every inch of sqft even with our families and friends and here is somebody who is willing to give up a portion of what could be rightfully claimed as their land for the bigger good.
9. For Anwesha, it was an interesting experience, albeit confusing. We had kept telling her the story of bhawanipatna from the time she was two, She is still too young to understand the concept of adoption, but she did make a genuine effort to fit into scheme of things. Especially towards the end, the scores of children who remembered her, came over and showered tons of affection by hugging and kissing her. We are preparing for the barrage of questions that are going to come our way next time around
10. We also connected with a couple of other friends in this area and their families.

At the end of the day, as we returned to our hotel, our hearts were filled with warmth. However for Sumi and myself, it was time to re-introspect again. For my Brother in Law, Ram, it was his moment of truth as he got to see the place where his favorite niece came from.

Amidst the gloom and doom that seems to pervade all of us today, there is still sufficient humanity and unadulterated love left in the world. And it is not in the materialistic or comfort capitals of the world or in those exalted board-rooms or luxury spas but in those places like Bhawanipatna, which doesn't figure in any of the "Lonely Planet" books of the world but in the the experiential memories of the few of us who were lucky enough to be there.

It does seem a long time but we are readying ourselves to go there for Anwesha's 10th bday. Till then the memories of the 2016 trip will hopefully help us retain our sanity as we get back to the day-to-day conundrum.